Let’s be honest here to start with, there is no such thing as being 100% immune to pain since we’re human, pain is a part of our lives, and we can’t ditch it any easier than we can ditch the DNA that makes us who we are. But after that realization (hopefully) sinks in, we can get into why this could work for some folks, and why it has no chance with others. That sounds a little cynical, doesn’t it? The unfortunate truth is that as much as people want to believe in him, and they’re right to do it would appear, David Goggins is another motivational speaker using very familiar talking points that many are going to believe is something new and improved and capable of changing their lives.
Here’s the issue with motivational speaking.
People might tear into me for this or just ignore me since they don’t want their illusions shattered, but the fact is that there’s nothing wrong with motivational speaking, especially if it works. But how often is it going to be needed? How many times will it need to be delivered in new and interesting ways, and how many times will those same ways produce the same result? Goggins talks about paying attention to your own story and owning up to your own mistakes and failures, and he’s right to do so, especially since this is one way that people tend to move forward. But it’s not the only way, and his style and many other styles don’t work for everyone in a blanket effect. Maybe that’s why I’m mistrustful of someone that appears to be this good and noble since they profess to be all about showing and telling people how to make their flawed lives work, but they don’t often take into account that humanity isn’t one size fits all, even if they say as much. There are other issues with Goggins’ message, and I’ll lay them out:
- They’re useful, but to a point. This sounds like a common complaint that many might have when it comes to finding out that the words spoken by one speaker after another don’t have the immediate effect that people woudl like to see. Some folks are so desperate that they simply want to feel better, to hear that there’s a way to make their lives better. They want the quick fix that pelasing words can give them. The issue with this is that many people need that fix constantly, daily, weekly, and so on. Making people reliant on those words is not self-help, it’s another addiction to feed. That’s not a one size fits all solution, no matter how much someone wants it to be.
- Such methods are too easy to abuse. No one is saying that Goggins is abusing this opportunity to get his message out to people, nor is he bound to be in it just for the money. Unfortunately, there are plenty that are looking to make a buck by seeking to ‘help’ people with pleasant words and tough love that they feel entirely confident will get people off their butts and ready to face life in a way that will change things. The problem here is that while it might change things for some folks, there are a lot more individualsl that will need more than words.
- Like so many that have taken to motivating others, it’s all about his story, his experience, or the experiences of those that he feels are inspirational and can possibly jumpstart the lives of other if they only listen and take his advice and follow the examples he lays out. The sane talking points are being laid out day in and day out, with each new talk show appearance, each new book sold, each ‘new’ philosophy that comes along, it all has the same goal. It’s a noble goal to be certain, as helping people isn’t to be laughed about.
Don’t get me wrong, Goggins is doing what a lot of people have done over the years, he’s trying to wake people up in order to better their lives, and to get them to actually give a damn about their lives. Mocking him isn’t the point, but keeping people from flocking to his words like lemmings with the idea that he’s going to have all the answers, which he’ll claim that he doesn’t have when the truth is that he’s taking the talking points that have been used over and over throughout several decades. He’s a motivational speaker and extraordinary human being that believes that he has the answer for a lot of people when the truth is that he has the answers for himself and those that might think like him.
Suffering brings transformation? This is true.
Keep in mind that I’m not about to say that Goggins is lying. I’m not about to discredit his name or his methods. But what I am saying is that by tossing some folks into the fire, or convincing them to walk into this meat grinder that is life, sometimes all that happens is that people get burned, or shredded to pieces because they get pumped up by the words they hear. In other words, a lot of motivational speakers mean well, and their plan is initially to help others by using their own experience in order to give a great example. Hey, it works sometimes, especially since some people are in such dire need that they’ll turn to just about anyone. No, that wasn’t a dig, it’s a fact, and it’s a fact that’s still as true today as it’s been for decades. There are a few drawbacks to using your pain to transform, such as:
- The most obvious is that some take it way too far. Using the pain requires a great deal of self-discipline, which is necessary for a lot of changes in life since without that type of discipline, the connection between motivation and is faulty at best and non-existent at worst. Unguided desire can wear out quickly, but if it’s sustainable, it can head off in a lot of different directions, and not all of them are good. While speakers like Goggins do their best to get peole on the straight and narrow, keeping them there takes constant vigilance at times, and like it or not, once Goggins and many others have had their say, they’re onto the next engagement, the next interview, the next book signing, and while they’re reaching everyone they can, they are not the solid connection that people need. They’re a balm when they’re needed, and an echo when they move on.
- People can misconstrue the words that are spoken, this happens all the time. There are counterarguments to anything and everything I could say here, as motivational speakers have one quote and one commonly heard line of speech for every argument that can be levied against them. But the truth is that what they ssay can be taken out of context, it can be misunderstood, and it can become a litany that sends a person down a very strange and possibly hazardous path. This could possibly sound like a lot of uneducated melodrama, but taking a page out of Goggins’ book, as well as many other speaker’s, I have known several people that went to listen to a motivational speaker and became so enamored of what they heard that they went and did what the speaker said, word for word. Three months later, the first of them found that they couldn’t sustain their new upbeat attitude, and ended up trying to follow the speaker on his touring schedule, spending everything they had just to hear the man’s advice. Another took the idea of transforming herself through suffering much too far and ended up in the hospital after taking the advice of another speaker. The point that is trying to be made here with anecdotal evidence, much as a motivational speaker uses, is that fashioning new ways to speak to people by modifiying old speaking points is that people listen in the same way, but what they hear can be very different.
- What works for one person will not work for everyone. I know I already stated the one size doesn’t fit all, but the point needs to be hammered into the heads of those who listen over and over until they realize that motivational speakers are a broad-speaking bunch that mean well, but often use anecdotes and personal triumphs to reach people on a level that they believe is in the best interests of those who come to listen. The words that Goggins and many others speak can be found in books, they can be switched around and used for inspiration in a number of different ways, but they are the SAME THING. You can take a gift and wrap it any number of ways and add whatever you want to it, but if the gift inside is the same old thing, an outer appearance won’t change that.
My own belief is that Goggins and every other motivational speaker is doing what they feel is right and are attempting to remain altruistic even as they accept payment for speaking engagements, sponsors, and everything else that is tossed their way. Goggins made much of his wealth as an athlete, but it’s fair to think that he made a good bundle from speaking his own truths as well, since like it or not, there are many people out there that are willing to listen and let him guide them. His idea of transforming yourself through pain isn’t the worst option in the world, but it’s a guarantee that not everyone is capable of following his words.
Real immunity to pain
The only real immunity to pain is when life ceases to matter, when you can’t feel anything, or care about anything. Real immunity comes when life is over and there’s no more need for it. You’ve probably heard that ‘pain is in your mind’ or ‘pain is your body letting you know you’re still alive’, right? A lot of us have heard these words and more, and they’re just true as any metaphor or anecdote that Mr. Goggins wants to lob to the crowd like so many others. Pain is something we live with, unfortunately, and pain is something that we need, no matter how bad it gets, no matter how pervasive it is. The pain of losing, of failing, is what keeps a lot of people motivated to stay away from it as much as possible. You can look back at the story of your life and run from it, or own it.
