There’s one big issue to deal with when it comes to meeting a partner in this life, and it’s the same for anyone, no matter if you’re attracted to men or to women. There are enough dating sites out there to cover about every topic known on the subject, and enough articles to create another version of the internet if one so desired. But one of the things that get glossed over way too often is the one thing that a lot of people can’t help but desire out of their partner, and it has little to do with what they look like, how much money they have, or how well they know how to use the biological assets granted to them. Want to guess what it might be?
People want you to listen to them. It’s true, even if someone says they don’t care, or puts up a front and makes it appear that they could care less whether people listen to what they have to say. Communication is absolutely vital when it comes to dating, be it non-verbal or otherwise. But since I’m not talking about how a guy can pop his pecs or how a woman can tilt her hips and cause a roomful of guys to start drooling, let’s focus on what it takes to actually communicate with words, which are supposed to be the foolproof way to state our intentions and our desires.
Seriously, LISTEN
From a hetero man’s perspective, listening to women is absolutely important, even if you feel that they have nothing useful to say. It doesn’t matter, what they’re saying is useful to them, and important no doubt. Even if you have to pretend to be interested, just listen, since if you want your date, partner, or just some person you’ve met and want to impress to pay attention, keep your mouth shut for long enough, make it look like you’re listening, and then chime in when it sounds like the right time. You’ll likely chime in at the wrong time now and then, just apologize and let the other person go on. Do you want to know why you should do this? Well, here are just a few reasons.
- People like to be listened to. When it appears that you’re listening, they feel that someone sees them, values what they value, and at the very least, is willing to give them the attention they want. In turn, they’re bound to at least think about giving you that same courtesy when they’re done talking.
- Women actually do find this attractive. Even better, if you really do listen and give them input that’s honest, not just straight up butt-kissing, there are plenty of women that will likely be even more attracted to you. That is, if you can keep from being a suck-up and employ tact at the same time. Hey, to some folks it’s like walking and chewing bubblegum on a tightrope, it just doesn’t work that well.
- Other people take notice of this as well and you never know, if things don’t work out with the partner you’re with or there was nothing there to begin with, someone might take note that your listening skills are on point. This is a long shot to be certain, but if you can woo another individual by showing that you can and will listen to someone, then you’re a step or two ahead of the game.
Don’t Be Fake
So yeah, women and men both like to be listened to, but how closely are you listening to them? There are individuals who can sit or stand there and appear to be listening to every word, but in their heads, they might be listening to their favorite song or simply blocking out the person talking with white noise. People shouldn’t get too offended, this is a survival technique that many, mostly men, develop to keep our brains from turning to mush from the casual chitchat and small talk that some folks love to engage in so often. The problem with this is when the speaker asks your opinion and all you can produce is a moronic ‘Huh?’.
Listening is more than just paying attention. It’s actually hearing what’s being said and comprehending the strange, arcane thing that is chitchat and all its intricacies that some folks appear to know everything about. It might be boring; it might sound like an entirely different language that has its own rhythm and style. But a person needs to decide whether they want a date, a companion, or something deeper. Then again, one also has to decide if they can take the chitchat that some people bring with them. If you’re not a good listener, then a constant talker isn’t the person for you. But there are a few other reasons you don’t want to be a fake when it comes to listening to others. Here are just a few.
- Going back to the “Huh?” comment, the fact that you appear to be attentive is fine, but the moment that some dumb utterance such as this comes spilling out of your lips, your reputation has become sullied, or has been partially set as a dullard. It also means that you’d better hope you have a nice body and decent personality, since your inability to listen to what people are saying will speak volumes about your intelligence to others.
- You might be missing something good if you’re not attentive enough, such as a prospective companion who wants to spend more time with you or invite you to some function that might be fun. Testing a person’s patience by being fake isn’t the smartest move to be sure but missing something great because you weren’t listening is one of the most boneheaded moves that anyone can make.
- For those that do have spouses or companions or partners, however one wants to describe a relationship, being caught fake listening can have a wide variety of side effects, one of the worst being a bad case flying objects being launched at your head or just in your general direction. That takes us in the direction of my last point, the subject of LEARNING.
Listen AND Learn
This point is short, sweet, and not hard at all. The more you listen, the more you learn.
The more you learn, the better off you are because it leads to you becoming:
- More interesting.
- More likable
- More attractive (yes, really)
- More suitable as a companion.
Good looks, a great body, and many other traits that people look for are great and all, but if a person can’t bring themselves to listen to someone else in a deep, meaningful way, then things aren’t bound to work as well as they could, and it’s because without listening to people, we have no idea how to treat them, how to react to them, and how to simply have a good relationship with them.
Getting to know each other takes time
Dating and relationships take a lot of work as a lot of us know. It’s not easy, since if it were easy then every person would be getting married or would at least be hooking up with the person that completes them in the best way. There are a lot of things one can do in order to get a date or simply to attract someone they’re interested in. But listening to them, honestly listening, is a terrific way to see their eyes light up with interest. Listen and learn more about the person you want in your life, it makes life a lot more interesting, and at least a little more worthwhile.
