Even if you know about them, a refresher might be in order.
Fantasies are what keep us looking for something that we might never have, but they’re also fun to think about just because there’s no way of knowing whether or not we would ever be able to handle it if we were able to take that shot. Then again, there are a couple of different types of threesomes, and plenty of guys, and ladies, would love to see if it would work for them. These days it wouldn’t be just the general two guys, one woman, or two women, one guy, or even three guys and three women since things have changed over the years. But what doesn’t feel like it’s changed is the fact that three consenting adults are needed to make this kind of thing work. When speaking in sexual terms one would be wise to remember that their stamina is going to be just as important as their ability to accept two different people at the same time, since no one wants to suddenly fail right in the middle of the fun, right? That would be insanely embarrassing, not to mention demoralizing in a way that might ruin the fun.
If one had the goal to turn such a grouping into a relationship then it feels as though one might as well try to reach the top of Mt. Everest with a windbreaker and a single tank of oxygen. Well, maybe it’s not quite that tough, especially if one has plenty of charisma and the kind of abilities in bed that drive people wild. But it does sound like a bad idea just wading into it since two different personalities, apart from your own, is a lot to handle unless you’re talking about kids, which is another story entirely. A relationship on this level would be more than a lot of people could handle since, quite honestly, trying to deal with one person is tough enough most times given that people have their own wants and needs that might not run along the same lines in such a grouping as this. Just imagine trying to be with two individuals who are in constant opposition to each other, and then imagine the many ways that one would have to deal with one problem after another. That would be a full-time job right there, not always worth the payoff that might come as a result.
A threesome is indeed a fantasy of a lot of adult men, and some women would like to see what it’s like as well. But before engaging in one there are a few things that a person might want to know and might want to pay attention to since it’s not exactly something that beginners should be engaging in without knowing what it is they’re getting into. For instance, do the other two people know each other? Does one of them know you? Did you all meet by chance? What were the conditions in which you met? There are a lot of questions to ask and some folks might not think twice about asking any of them since the usual desire is to get in, get off, and get out. Admit it guys, being with two women, or even being with a woman and another guy is a fantasy that a lot of men tend to think about for their own reasons. But trying to engage in a threesome does need to be safe for everyone, not to mention that it needs to be consensual since anything else is likely to be illegal and capable of coming back to bite someone on the ass if they’re not careful.
With that in mind, here are ten things you might not have known about threesomes.
10. They’re only awkward if you make them that way.
It might feel a little awkward to welcome someone else into your bed at first, but this is why you talk to people and make certain that it’s not going to be that way. How this goes is up to you, and if you’re going to be goosey at every caress and touch then it’s probably not going to work that well. Make sure you can vibe with the person that you’re welcoming into your bed, especially since it’s easy to think that if you have an unresolved issue, it will make the experience extremely uncomfortable.
9. It can ruin friendships, but only if you allow it to.
Any sexual experience can ruin a friendship if one is being honest since how it’s conducted, how people feel afterward, and how they interact in the sack makes a big difference as to whether or not they’ll do it again and whether feelings are going to be hurt. Sometimes people are better off as friends, but sometimes, if that connection is made, then they can experience even more as they allow the relationship to build. Granted, it’s tough to build a relationship with two people at the same time since it’s double the attention one has to give. But it does sound possible if one is willing to take the time to really get into it and explore the various aspects of each person in the threesome.
8. Don’t think of it as weird or deviant.
It’s sex, more or less, that brings a threesome together, and a desire to see what it might be like with a third person added into the mix. There’s nothing seriously deviant about this, no matter what some folks might like to say since it’s a preference that can be shared by a couple, or initiated by three consenting adults. Sex is usually a very normal act, so if you’re thinking of doing something that’s not typically seen in a regular way, well, that’s on you. But the simple act of having sex with two people instead of just one is something that certain religions might frown upon and even tell you is absolutely wrong, at least until one comes to a Mormon household. Save your judgment and smarmy looks, there’s bound to be something going down with sister wives in some households…
7. Communicate, communicate, communicate.
Hell, this is important in relationships that have just two people, so it’s going to be insanely important in a trio since two people might be able to get messages back and forth easily, but there’s nothing to say that someone isn’t going to get left out occasionally simply because they weren’t paying attention, or weren’t vibing with the other two at that moment. It might be a little difficult at times, but communicating with each other and keeping an open channel is absolutely vital to making a threesome work.
6. Make sure no one is left out.
It’s probably going to happen that one of you will feel left out at the moment, as it could happen that two of you will find a spot you really like or might find yourselves lost in the moment. But if you’re in a threesome, remember that there is someone else there, and it’s very possible that their feelings are going to be hurt if you don’t at least consider them at every moment. Your third might need a break, which is perfectly fine, but don’t seek to exclude them.
5. Stay or go when you’re done, it’s up to you.
If the understanding is that you’re there to have fun and there are no strings attached, then don’t worry too much about getting yours and then heading out, especially if your two companions don’t mind. It might sound a little selfish, but threesomes aren’t a binding contract, you don’t have to stick around if you don’t want when all is said and done. It might be interesting to stick around and see what’s said when everything is over, but if your other two companions are of the same mind that they’re up and gone and they’re done, then don’t feel too bad about finishing first.
4. Yeah, you’ll probably get a good laugh out of the mattress acrobatics.
Things are going to happen when you try a threesome for the first time, and it might take you a while to fully understand which way you want to move and how flexible your partners really are. Some people might come in acting like Gumby and can wrap around you in ways that you don’t think are anatomically possible, while others might pull a muscle just trying to put a leg up. Be understanding of your companions and just laugh along with them, or try to understand how best to help them in this type of situation. It’s bound to be an exercise to find out who can bend where and who’s better off staying still. Hey, some days you’re the gymnast, some days you’re the pommel horse, right?
3. You’re not obligated to do everything.
If your body doesn’t bend a certain way, or if you don’t want to get in on a sex act that you’re not down with, then don’t feel the need just because your companions want to. There are plenty of sexual acts out there that some people simply aren’t comfortable with for one reason or another, and despite your fantasy of having a threesome, you don’t have to do anything you don’t want. If you’re trying to please your other two companions then think about it and then think again just to make certain that you’re doing this for yourself as well as for them. If it’s not your thing, then don’t do it.
2. Don’t be shy about mentioning it to your partner.
You miss every shot you don’t take, right? If you want to try a threesome, then at least mention it to your partner and see what they say. If they’re firmly set against it, don’t push, they might eventually come around. But if they’re all for it, then make sure that you pick out your third partner together so that you can both enjoy your time. But don’t be shy, there’s nothing wrong with testing the waters to see how far they’ll go.
1. Having one threesome doesn’t mean you need to keep having them.
So, if you do get your fantasy, then congrats to you. But if the one time was all you wanted, make sure that you tell your significant other/partner, and the third person so that they won’t expect anything else. They might want to try it again and again, but you’re under no obligation to let them have any more of the goods if you’re no longer down with it.
WTR? (Why’s That Radass?)
Whether you’re into threesomes or not, or any other sexual act that might not be considered ‘normal’ by others, keep in mind that you’re the one in control of your own body and what you do. A threesome is a great fantasy for a lot of people, but some are either too nervous or too shy to even mention the desire to others. Just keep in mind that if you do seek this fantasy, you still need to be safe, as this only enhances the fun.
