Admit it, you’ve been there, watching the TV as some of the most overpaid and obnoxious individuals compete against one another in an effort to show who’s better and, at the same time, who can give the worst performance when it comes to convince their audience/fans that they’re truly hurt. And if you have time, you might have even watched the WWE. Oh, you thought I was going to mention the World’s Worst Entertainment first and THEN talk about the MLS? Sorry about that, it should have been made clearer that BOTH shows actually showcase some of the worst actors in the world. The only difference is that the WWE (I admit, I watch it too) isn’t really trying to convince you of anything since it’s a show. The MLS on the other hand is just cringe-worthy to watch.
There’s Bad Acting….
So yes, let’s start with the WWE since they’ve been around for a while since it was technically founded back in 1953, even though it hadn’t taken on its current name. But while it wasn’t right away that people knew that the act was fake, it didn’t take too long. The giants and titans that did battle within the ring were mythical creatures almost, warriors that could take an enormous amount of punishment that no mortal man or woman could even think of accepting without breaking into pieces. Right? But once people were able to look beyond the smoke and mirrors and behind the curtain and up the…oh wait, never mind…they were able to realize that the kind of beating that these monsters inflicted upon each other wasn’t real. Granted, there were moments, and there still are, when the performers put their bodies on the line for the entertainment of the people. But if you show me a man or woman that can take a blow to the face and not show a mark, I’ll start my Shaolin Monk training the very next day. There are moments that are very real on this show, such as:
- Those chest shots aren’t fake, but they’re done in a way that leaves a definite mark.
- Kendo sticks really do hurt, but thankfully they’re not hitting as hard as they can.
- That stomp that wrestlers do when they’re hitting someone makes it more dramatic, but there’s still a measure of pain in their punches.
- Try landing on a thin wooden mat with only the cover for cushion, then say it’s all fake.
- Look up “Becky Lynch” and “John Cena” and you’ll see that they really did have their noses broken courtesy of botched stunts. Accidents do happen.
The wrestlers train their butts off to make certain that accidents don’t happen, but the acting they pull most of the time is done in order to convince the crowd that they’re getting messed up, meaning it’s all an act. It’s a pretty decent one too since the wrestlers are constantly practicing their choreography to ensure that none of them gets injured permanently, or killed like Owen Hart. It’s grim, I know, but it happens. But imagining that someone like Bad Bunny could seriously give John Morrison, who’s been a wrestler since 2002 and has done work as a stuntman, any serious trouble is kind of easy to laugh at, just the image of John Morrison planting Bad Bunny on his soft, fuzzy backside.
And Then There’s REALLY Bad Acting
Look, I’m not trying to badmouth European football, soccer, whatever the hell you want to call it since these athletes are impressive to watch, but when it comes to faking injuries, it’s pretty evident that even the WWE wouldn’t take them. Oh yeah, I said it, especially since watching some of these guys fake their injuries isn’t hard to figure out in terms of strategy, but with so many cameras and so many different angles and so many different people watching, one has to wonder: Why? Let’s be fair here and say that taking a shoe to the face at full force or to anywhere else on your body is going to hurt like hell. Ever had a baseball shoe raked down your leg or body? I’d imagine it’s something like that, or perhaps it would be akin to having a pair of track and field spikes adhered to your skin and then ripped in one direction or the other. But seriously, here are just a few things I’ve seen that don’t make a lot of sense:
- A player gets tapped in the back of the leg and they go down holding their head as though they’ve just been slapped with a hammer. Boy, that nervous system is a funny thing alright.
- A player gets slapped in the hand and they flop like a landed fish on the ground. It kind of makes me think of Club Dread and pressure points (Let’s not see the Leaky Turtle please).
- There’s no one near the player and, after looking for the nearest opposing player, they flop and give out a yell like a giant just stomped on their spleen without so much as an ‘excuse me’. Worse than anything, it’s caught on camera for posterity for the rest of their lives.
Again, I like watching soccer, especially when the contact is real and you can see that the players are actually upset at each other or are just being super-competitive and didn’t mean to attack each other. It’s a fun game and a great pastime, but one can only hear the Looney Tunes theme when they start flopping, and then it’s even better.
And the Award Goes To…
It’s all in good fun at least, and it’s all for show, but at this point, it’s easy to say that the Razzie would have to be awarded, continuously, to the soccer players that think that tripping over air is the best way to get a penalty. Meh, at least we get a good laugh out of it in the process.
