If the song “Shots” just entered your head then you might be in the wrong place, since this is where the men go, and the ladies if they want, to take on the shots that won’t pucker your lips with sweetness before setting off a bomb in your belly. Nope, these are the slow burn shots, the jet fuel shots, the manimal (man + animal for the uninitiated) shots that leave you warm all night. Shots are a personal thing to be certain, something that some folks might think that only the younger generations do. Of course, if anyone ever tells you that, don’t mince words when you let them know that the older generations were puttin’ them back before they were ever a the glint in the reflection from a shot glass.
Shall we get into it then?
Straight Shots to Stoke the Fire
Sometimes you’ve got to get a good warm-up shot in there to blaze the trail and get the home fire burning, so a shot of whiskey might be just the thing. Maybe a simple shot of Johnny Daniels, James Beam. Hey, when you’ve known ‘em long enough it doesn’t matter what you call them, we’re all old friends here. Of course if you want to spice it up a bit you might want to think of Jose, Stoli’s, maybe even invite Jaeger along for some fun as well. Just one bit of advice, don’t go shooting straight cordials unless you’re in it for the sugar rush, but a shot of Southern Comfort and a few others might be acceptable.
Shots, Shots, Shots!
The best part about shots is that they’re easy unless one tries to get too fancy, since really, all one needs is a couple of liquors, a few cordials, and maybe a few other ingredients. Keep in mind though, if you’re pouring shots at home it’s likely that they might be stronger or weaker depending on how you’re pouring. Going out will be different, but most bartenders are trained to pour a shot right, meaning it could knock you on your butt or give you a warm, tingly feeling that you’ll want to repeat. Here are a just a few shots you might want to try, based upon their level of difficulty to withstand.
Shots for the Gentlemen and Ladies
Take a gander at these:
Shots to get serious with
- Pirate’s Treasure: It’s not much really, just a layer of Captain Morgan’s Rum (pick your flavor) nestled atop a big dollop of Goldschlager for that ‘gentleman of means’ look.
- Southern Joe: If you don’t mind mixing your Jack Daniels with your SoCo you can get a pretty tasty shot that warms its way down your gullet with a hint of that peach flavor. Can you eat a peach for hours?
- Three Wise Men: If you’re just looking for a good time to sit and sip your shot, then the counsel of Jack, Jim, and Johnnie might suit your needs. But if you’re in the mood for hunting you might consider substituting one of these refined gentlemen with Wild Turkey or good ol’ Jose.
- Silver Bullet: Granted, gin and scotch are usually taken better on their own or, in gin’s case, a mixed drink that might have a hint of something else. But if you want something to kick your tonsils on the way down, this might do it.
- Duck Fart: It might not sound appetizing, but a mixture of Kahlua, Bailey’s, and a float of Crown Royal whiskey on top is a great way to start the night, or perhaps end it if you can keep this one down. If you want, you can even make it a Turkey Fart with Wild Turkey. Many a Thanksgiving has hosted a few of these shots.
- Kick in the balls: Don’t worry too much, you won’t feel it after this shot, which uses tequila, whiskey, and Yukon Jack. If you want a better experience with it though, use Cuervo Gold and Jack Daniels. Trust me on this one, none of that Monarch stuff that you can clean your pipes with.
Shots that let your freak flag fly
- Irish Car Bomb: Bomb shots are kind of looked down upon by some people, but they’re fun if you’re younger, since all it really take is a draft of Guinness, Irish whiskey (Bushmills just for effect) and Bailey’s Irish Cream. More than a couple of these and you’ll definitely be ready to explode, so take it easy.
- Fireball: Don’t go breathing on any open flames after this one, or in anyone’s face (pre-pandemic of course) since Fireball whiskey and Tabasco sauce are a potent mix. Too many of these and you’ll be shooting fireballs the next morning from the wrong direction.
- Cement Mixer: Are you a true manimal? ARE YOU? Can you hold a mixture of Bailey’s Irish Cream and lime juice in your mouth for 30 seconds without vomiting? And THEN swallow? If you are, then hats off to you my good fellow, you are a sick, sick bastard, and I salute you.
Kanpai, Prost, Skal, Slainte, Salud, and Cheers!
So let’s review, those are only nine shots, NINE, out of an entire library of shots that are out there, waiting for the young and the old to give them a try. Some of you may imbibe until you literally fall on your lips, while others might take their time and be sophisticated about it. But the main thing you want to remember is that shots can be fun, they can be sophisticated, and they can lead to a good time. They’re not complicated, and because I can’t give in totally to a deviant lifestyle, neither is being responsible. It’s cool to get drunk with your buddies, and it’s cool to have a good time, but always be responsible about it, or you’re just a drunken idiot. But in the meantime, pull up a stool and let’s get our drink on! You’ve got the first round, right?
WTR? (Why’s That Radass?)
Anytime we think about drinking or promote it in any way we hope that all you Radassers do it safely and know your limit, and by all means, do not drive or operate any machinery after drinking. Have fun with it and find what you like, but know when to call it for the day, or night.
