Up until today my biggest fear in life was home invasion. The thought of someone breaking in to my home and stabbing me to death gives me nightmares. Nothing could be worse….until I read the experience of Redditor DogGammitBobby. I’ve posted his story word for word below. It’s graphic, but every man should use this as a cautionary tale if he gets kidney stones.
Hey guys. I’m a 28 year old guy who suffers from chronic kidney stones.
The past few days I have been essentially bedridden due to kidney stone pain. I’ve done little more than go back and forth from the toilet to my bed, just wishing for either the stone to pass or a stray bullet from a drive-by to find its way into my bedroom.
Last night I could tell it was about to pass. I’ve had many kidney stones before, but this is the first one that I’ve decided to tough out without going to the hospital- that shit gets expensive. After a few hours on the toilet just trying to force out every bit of urine I could, the pain had relaxed just a bit. After a few hours the pain had faded entirely. Sweet relief!
Having been stuck in my apartment for days in pain and pissing blood, this was one of the few times that I wasn’t in excruciating pain or on heavy pain meds, so I really wanted to get a little…. extra relief… So I got on my bed and pulled up my favorite adult website on my laptop and watched a video that I found appealing. I brought shame upon my ancestors with only minor discomfort but it wasn’t bad… until I came.
Sweet mother fuck. My cum pushed that fucking dick demon into the middle of my dickhole and lodged it in there, blocking anything from coming out. Naturally my dick went limp pretty fast as I ran into the bathroom.
I tried to piss it out, but the only thing coming out was a couple drops of blood. After a few minutes, I finally I managed to force out just enough urine to push everything out- and out came an explosion of cum, blood, piss and a huge stone like a fucking dick musket.
I gasped and dropped to my knees right there in front of the toilet, sweating profusely. After about 15 minutes I finally got to my feet and cleaned myself up. The toilet looked like something out of Law and Order: SVU.
My dick is no longer bleeding or in pain, though there is a bit of discomfort lingering. I think I’m going to spend another day in bed.
TL;DR: TIL jacking off while passing a kidney stone results in a bloody, cum-filled dick cannon. My penis is now just for show.
EDIT: Thank you all for your concern about Admiral Winky. We’re both recovering nicely. This stone is probably the 12th one that I’ve passed and the 40-something-ith one I’ve had. Most are blasted through lithotripsy, but I decided to go overly manly man with this one.
EDIT 2: Sorry kids, no pictures of the stone. I flushed it because I had no intentions of sloshing around in my own makins’ for something I’ve seen many times before. After some interweb searching, this one looks very close to the one I passed today- size, color, and shape: http://i.imgur.com/YO60Tjy.jpg
EDIT 3: OMG! I’ve been narrated! My life is so much better now! https://youtu.be/DAyau2CbACU
