4. My polarized Ray Bans aren’t dark enough because others can see my eyes.
5. I want to eat my chips but I can’t hear the TV.
6. I have to remove my noise-canceling headphones every so often because their perfect seal around my ears makes my ears get all sweaty
8. My treadmill at the gym got the “Blue Screen of Death”.
10. Ok, this is definitely a legitimate bitch.
11. I’ve started losing weight, but it’s all coming off my boobs first.
12. I want to buy gas because it’s under 3 dollars but I still have almost a full tank.
13. I can’t get past this one Candy Crush stage.
14. I have no idea how to fold this map back up.
16. Damn those billionaires.
17. My stud detector is too large for the area I need.