As we all need to fart and do it gladly (yes, even posh women – we see you, ladies) because nothing compares to that sense of relief, of course, we invented so many different ways to express it. Sometimes, however, saying ‘fart’ is not creative enough. And believe us, there are a lot of creative ways to express the smelly symphony that comes from our exhaust port.
And here we go…
- Anal acoustics
Sometimes you’ve got to tune things up just to hit the right note, right?
- Bottom burp
Hey, it’s gotta come out one end or the other.
- Ass blaster
If it’s blasting its way out you might want to head into the doctor for a tune-up.
- Backdoor breeze
If you find the smell of a paper mill pleasant this would make a lot of sense.
- Whistling turd
Do I really need to go into depth on this one? You can also call it the whistling turtle.
- One-cheek squeak
When you can get away with just lifting a cheek your stealth game is getting better.
- Blast off
Seriously, see a doctor.
Oh, it gets worse…
- Busting ass
You know that feeling when your whole ass shakes and you feel hollowed out by the act?
- Butt percussion
When your cheeks shake because your stench is playing a solo on the way out.
- To cut a stinker
Think about those times when you’ve got cut one, and then someone walks into your space. You cut another one when you’re alone again, right?
- To crack one off
When you let loose with one quickly (and hope no one notices) while keeping the rest in reserve.
- Fire a stink torpedo (this one depicts strength – we approve)
This one should be kept in reserve until you have to get back at someone, seriously. Otherwise, there’s just too much collateral damage.
If you’re wanting to be all technical about it and stuff.
- Flatulence (oh yes, now we are fancy)
This is when you feel the need to be a little too haughty for your own good.
And the gas rolls on, and out…
- Gas attack
When you just can’t stop, I mean REALLY can’t stop since there’s just they just keep rolling out.
- To lay an air biscuit
Seriously, it feels like someone just opened the oven door and delivered a baked good right from your crack.
- Anus applause
When you hear those peals of air clapping out of your butt you know you did something right, or maybe someone else did something great that your anus appreciates…okay, that was odd.
- Barn burner
Don’t be near an open flame when letting this one go.
- Drop a stink bomb
Some folks do this just to be irritating and sometimes cantankerous.
This is almost like a fart that didn’t have enough time to develop and runs out of power on the way out.
- Thunder from down under
You can feel this one coming and quite honestly, you might want to find some privacy or a toilet bowl to aim this one at.
Relax, we all do it.
We made sure to cover some that we enjoy, as well as some we don’t use, but still find particularly endearing.
Which fart vocab do you Rad people use? Just embrace your farts. There is nothing to be ashamed about. After all, we all think our fart smells nice. Wink wink.