Sometimes you can’t help the inevitable stink bomb. Your stomach agrees, your mind agrees, but the situation and the company you’re in might not agree – but why and when should you hold it in? Who knows how it will sound, or even worse, how bad will it stink? Yup, those boiled eggs you ate will smell like doom. When it comes to farting, there is definitely the wrong place and the wrong time. What are the worst places you can fart?
We tried to narrow it down to the worst possible places you can let one rip. Let’s get started.
A Crowded Space/Vehicle
Imagine being in a car with your friends, especially on a hot day. It doesn’t even have to be warm – you can do some massive nasal damage if you break one out. Everyone will suffer. Especially if you ate something that’s known to ripen just before it emanates from your guts in a noxious cloud– RIP everyone.
A Funeral
Oh, heavens. Imagine people saying goodbye to their loved ones, and you throw a stinker over their grief. But, why does this make us laugh? And, is it possible to get haunted for farting at a funeral? If anyone has experienced that, let us know.
The First Time Having Sex with Someone
Imagine getting hot and steamy with a girl and then you feel one potential stinker coming in. Of course, if she looks like a keeper, eventually you’ll fart together. But, during first sex? Ah hell. Abort mission! Abort mission!
At a Wedding
People are likely to remember their wedding, and if you decide to cut one while they’re delivering their vows, or before, or after, then they’ll be likely to remember that too. If you are the best man (or a maid of honor), someone might legit kill you. But, probably the worst-case scenario is you being the one getting married and having the urge to fart. To fart or not to fart, that is the question. In this case, we can just say – good luck.
During a Business Presentation
Imagine holding that presentation that means so much to you, and then you realize there’s a fart building up. Your boss is sitting right in front of you, everybody is looking at you. This is a tough one. For sure, you don’t want to be remembered as “that employee that farted during his presentation.” If there is no way to avoid it, try to walk around, muffle the sound and pray to any and every god out there that it doesn’t smell.
During a Job Interview
Imagine preparing for that interview, prepping for that seriously important career opportunity that you’re really interested in. No wonder the nervous fart would build up, we don’t blame you.
In this case, by all means, go to the bathroom before the interview and try to fart before the big talk. Do not attempt to disguise a fart in front of the secretary or your potential boss. Squeeze that poisonous gas in until your ass cheeks fall off. That’s the best advice we’ve got on this. And then, if you get accepted, lock the door of your office and bathe in the noxious cloud if you need to. Just remember that you’ll have to walk out eventually, so stock up on Febreze.
It happens to everyone, just know when and where to go so you can take care of it.
Farting is natural, it’s another way the body has of ridding itself of something it doesn’t need. But there is a time and place for everything, and unfortunately your body kind of doesn’t give a damn, since if it needs something out then it’s going to push it out whenever and wherever. Do yourself a favor, if you feel a fart building before an important moment, do your best to take care of it, or if you can’t, then find a way to improvise. You’ve got this.
