Well, I am being forced into shaming myself. Recently some newer friends of mine discovered something from my past and pushed me into making it public. Once upon a time I wanted to be a rapper. Hell, I KNEW I was going to be a successful rapper. It was after Eminem burst onto the scene and every white kid in America started freestyling. I grabbed scrap pieces of paper and was writing all the time. Lyrics that were gold. At least, I thought they were gold. After I had notebooks of garbage, I mean gold, I scrapped up the money to hit a recording studio. I put together what I thought was the greatest demo of all time. It was only a matter of time until Def Jam or Interscope were calling. After numerous rejections I realized what I was missing: A music video! “No wonder no one signed me,” I thought. “They haven’t seen how great I am in front of a camera!” Well, below is that music video. It has been a few years since I made this. I have come to the realization that I am in no way shape or form a rapper. And watching this low-quality, off-key video of myself gives me douche chills. Enjoy the Best Worst Music Video Ever. If you really hate yourself, listen to the entire EP on Spotify.
