During Pride month, it’s important to remember that love leads you where you need to be.
Pride month is here and at Radass this means that we’re going to give a shout-out to the ladies this time and state how great it is that we live in a society where things aren’t perfect, but they’re trying to get there at least. Our focus on lesbian couples has more to do with our continued goal to cover and recognize strong and amazing women throughout society, so guys, don’t think we don’t see and support you too since this month is all about the LGBTQ+ community and everything it stands for. To keep our weekly theme going though, we will be focusing on the ladies to help people gain a little bit of understanding about how female couples work.
The answer is pretty simple since they work in a lot of the same ways that other couples work, but with a few obvious differences. It’s kind of amusing, in a dark sort of way at this point, that there are still a lot of people out there that would gladly condemn two women for feeling a strong attraction to one another that has to do with more than the physical contact that so many people crave. When two women come together in mind, body, and soul, it’s just as beautiful as any other couple. The need to judge, to point fingers, and to think that a lesbian couple could be anything negative or undesirable is a very personal feeling that is just as harmful as it sounds.
The best part about life sometimes is that if you have the courage and the fortitude, and perhaps just enough sass, you don’t have to conform to society to enjoy yourself. With that in mind, I thought I would help to dispel a few myths about lesbians that some folks don’t already know.
Lesbians don’t rush into a relationship any quicker than anyone else.
It sounds cringe-worthy as hell, doesn’t it? Some folks might think that lesbian couples will snap together like puzzle pieces and occupy their own little corner of the world so that they can have some bit of happiness. The truth is that women don’t necessarily fall for each other on site any more than other couples do. There is still a process that involves meeting, dating, and getting used to one another as they attempt to find out if this is the right match for them or not. Those that just jump into a relationship might be making as big of a mistake as anyone that ever does this. Seriously, they’re not about to seek out just any port in a storm, so to speak.
Lesbians come in just as many shapes and sizes as anyone.
The idea that lesbians are butch and look mean and intimidating is an idea that’s been around for quite some time and has been cemented in the minds of many people for one reason or another. There are lesbians that are big, bulky, and have a certain look to them that could be called butch, but that’s more of a lifestyle choice than a default for anyone. Just like anyone else, lesbians can be gorgeous, average, or, let’s be kind, someone that might be beautiful on the inside but doesn’t always get the chance to reflect this on the outside. No matter what a woman looks like, it’s fair to say that there isn’t one look that defines lesbians, since it’s kind of a surprise when some ladies tell their families or friends, but after a brief moment of shock, if that happens, it’s easy enough to shrug your shoulders and accept them for who they are.
Sex among lesbians isn’t that bizarre, at least on a fundamental level.
This feels like a giant ‘duh’ moment that a lot of people still need to get through their heads. Forget what you might have seen on porn sites, even if some of it is accurate. Sex among lesbian couples is no one else’s business to be fair, but it’s not as though they strip off their skin and start performing some alien or demonic act that sets them apart from the rest of humanity. Sexual relations between lesbians are just as natural as it is between anyone else. For those who are uncomfortable thinking about it, there’s a great way to alleviate the issue, turn yourself around and stick your nose in your own business. The thought that this would be different from anyone else is kind of laughable, but sadly, there are still a lot of small-minded people out there.
Once they’re in a relationship, it’s easy to think that lesbians understand their sexuality quite well.
Have you ever heard someone ask the question ‘How do you know you’re a lesbian?’, to a woman that is comfortable with her sexuality? If it irritates the hell out of you, think about how it must feel for the woman in question to hear this. Plus, think of it this way; it’s probably not the first time she’s been asked this. It’s fair to think that initially, a lesbian might not be entirely certain of her own sexuality, especially if she’s young and has no real experience with other women. But once women are in this type of relationship with each other, it’s fair to think that they have things figured out as much as they need to and that asking them about it over and over is pointless. I’ve actually heard a lesbian ask a cantankerous old man that called her out, “How are you sure you’re straight?”. Honestly, I’ve never seen a man blush that quickly.
Lesbians don’t hate men as a rule, but they might not like a few specimens that act like they can change them.
Just because a woman is a lesbian doesn’t mean she’s a man-hater, but it is possible that she might not like men that are bound to harass her every moment. The desire to ‘change’ a lesbian isn’t just ridiculous, it’s abhorrent since many men would likely feel the same if a gay man tried to ‘change’ them. Once you find the path that you want to walk, it’s not up to anyone else to set you on a different path, and a lot of people have figured this out. Those that are willing to think they can convince a person to change their sexuality in this manner though are the cringe-worthy types that believe just because women want to be with each other that they must hate men. That’s got to be one of the dumbest, most insipid things I’ve ever heard.
Lesbians aren’t checking all women out.
Plenty of insecure guys worry about gay men checking them out, but I have a nice little anecdote for this. Working in a sports bar with two gay servers, very nice guys the both of them, I had a chance to hear a lot about their lifestyle. I wasn’t at all surprised by a lot of things they said, but one day one of them said something in response to a question that someone else had asked. That question was whether the men had ever thought of dating anyone we worked with, in terms of the men of course. When one of them looked at me and eyed me up and down my eyebrows raised admittedly. But when he told me that I was a nice person but not his type, I took on a look of confused amusement while saying “Um, thank you, I guess?”. I seriously didn’t know whether to be sad or not at that point, as I was wrapped up in the moment. But it did get a good, friendly laugh out of all in attendance. I did enjoy the company of these two men as they were my co-workers and my friends at that time, but one thing I noted quickly is that they didn’t scope out the bar for hot men as often as some folks might think.
Women don’t do this any more than men do, since whether people want to believe it or not, they’re just as selective.
No, you can’t tell who is a lesbian by the way they dress.
This is about as ridiculous as any of the myths that have been developed over the years since lesbians dress and act just like anyone else for the most part. The only thing they do differently is attract or become attracted to other women, and to be fair, that’s no different than men in the long run, since the result is about the same. But trying to point out a lesbian by the way they dress is one way to piss a lot of people off and make quite a few mistakes that can ostracize a person from polite society.
Relationships aren’t limited to one man, one woman.
The fact that anyone allows this type of thought to go through their head these days is insane since there have been same-sex relationships around for quite some time. Even if they’ve been hidden by necessity they’ve still existed. It’s true that to make a child there does need to be a male aspect, as cloning still isn’t a perfected or even fully legal process, and the two halves of humanity still need to come together for such a thing to happen. But as far as relationships go, men, we’re not entirely needed to have a strong and lasting bond with someone else. Women have that covered quite easily when it comes to lesbian relationships.
Lesbian couples don’t mess up kids, and in fact can create very stable family units, just like anyone.
You know what damages a kid? A defective parent. They don’t have to be a single gender or have a distinct sexual orientation, since a shitty parent is a shitty parent. But lesbian couples can and have for many years now raised their own families. Granted, they either have to adopt or find a way to bring that male element into play. There are many ways to do this, more than I’m ready to go into at the moment, but the point is that lesbian couples, much like any other couples, can and do raise families that are well-adjusted and do have a different perspective on the world and how it works.
WTR? (Why’s That Radass?)
When it comes to matters of the heart and the myths that have been created to disrupt these moments of serenity, the truth is that the LGBTQ+ community is different in its own ways and is to be respected as much as anyone else. One doesn’t need to be an ally to show respect, as simply recognizing the rights of others to live as they will and enjoy the happiness they find is enough most times. Enjoy Pride Month Radassers, and remember, respect is earned and given.